


Temptations

by Taris



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Awkward Castiel, Dean Winchester and Feelings, F/M, First Time, Impala Sex, Jealous Dean Winchester, Jealousy, Love Triangles, Reader-Insert, Shameless Smut, Shower Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-04
Updated: 2015-09-17
Packaged: 2018-03-05 10:10:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3116222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taris/pseuds/Taris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean becomes jealous when he discovers you had spent the night with Castiel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lips of an Angel

You towel dry your hair after a much needed shower. This day was particularly exhausting; you're a good hunter but sometimes even you have to admit it's hard to keep up with Sam and Dean. Tonight you made your excuses for not joining them at the latest stakeout. You like having the motel to yourself for a change, just for a little breathing space. All you wear is your favourite t-shirt, and you're looking forward to a night of pizza, beer, and streaming Firefly on Sam's laptop. You walk out of the bathroom and towards the desk when you suddenly hear a soft thud behind you. You turn around quickly to see Castiel standing in the middle of the room. He looks a little surprised to see you. You wait for him to speak.

"Is Dean with you?" His brow furrows slightly.

You make a display of looking around the room, then retort playfully, "No, Cas. Obviously he's not."

"I need to talk to him."

"I can find out where he is."

"No, it's okay. It can wait." He studies the motel room from where he stands, and you watch him awkwardly.

"Do you ever just try knocking?" You gesture to the door.

"I've tried it, it just proves to be a waste of time."

"What do you mean?"

"After I knock, I have to wait for you to answer the door and then let me in. It's quicker to do it this way."

"It may be quicker but it's kinda intrusive." He pauses, uncertain. "You know, I might not have been decent… Or I could have been doing something private."

"Like what?" He studies your face. Curious. Then suddenly, you're very aware of how little you're wearing.

"I should probably change…" You make your way to the bathroom.

"I hope I haven't made you uncomfortable." He quickly calls out.

"Yeah, ditto." You laugh nervously.

"I should probably go, anyway."

You stop at the door of the bathroom. "Busy night?"

"No, I just don't want to interrupt anything."

You look around conspicuously. "What would you be interrupting?" He's unsure how to respond so you offer him a smile. "Cas, I'm not doing anything. Stay. Hang out."

"Hang out?" He gives you a confused look.

"Yeah, just hang out. You and I never just, you know… Hang out." You mentally kick yourself for stumbling over your words. "Look, Cas. How do you feel about space cowboys?"

"I've never heard of them"

"Okay, sit and watch this with me. I promise you'll love it."

Distracted from your search of clothing, you slide into the bed, motioning for Cas to join you. You set up the laptop at the end of the bed and pass a beer to him, as he now awkwardly sits on the side of the bed next to you.

You're about twenty minutes into the episode, but you're distracted as you can tell that his thoughts are elsewhere. Subtlety, you look up at him. Maybe it wasn't subtle enough, as he takes it as a cue to speak.

"I find it easier to watch over someone when I'm not physically with them." You're not sure where he's going with this. He looks up at you. "You said before about how you and I rarely spend time together." He doesn't say anything else. He's acting so strangely.

"Are you okay?" You ask. He nods and drinks more of the beer. The bottle is nearly empty. Maybe it's the beer talking. He relaxes a little more and moves his legs so that they are on top of the bed. He leans back slightly so he's mirroring you.

Why does everything seem more tense? You're suddenly really aware of his breathing. Every time you adjust your position slightly, you graze his arm with your own and it sends tingles all over your body. That's never happened before. You feel him occasionally looking over at you. He's probably noticed that you're blushing, that you're struggling to keep your breathing at a steady pace. Which is impossible when you're so aware of him being right next to you. Looking at you.

"Cas-" You're cut off by his hand on your cheek. You jump slightly at the touch. You want to kiss him. Why do you suddenly want to kiss him? You never did before. He pulls away and sits back again. Frowning slightly. Okay, this could definitely be the beer. Maybe not drawing attention to it would make it less awkward. You try to focus on the laptop screen.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have…" He struggles to find the words. Maybe he feels it too. This bizarre attraction that came out of nowhere. Well, not exactly out of nowhere. You've always found him attractive, and goofy, and sweet, and caring; but you would have never in a million years acted upon it.

What would be so wrong in that? You know Cas. You trust him. You trust him in the same way you trust Sam and Dean. You gingerly stretch your arm forward a little bit, just so the back of your hand is lightly touching his forearm. He looks down, aware of the touch. Can he feel that tingling as well? You surrender all logical thought as you reach over and pull his face towards yours. The kiss is deep and sweet and the warmth of his tongue makes you shiver. He doesn't pull away. Instead he rests one of his hands on top of your own, and traces the curve of your waist with the other. You want him. You pull away slightly as you lift yourself so that you're sitting on top of him, and then return to the kiss. His hands are now on your bare thighs, gripping them firmly.

"What are we doing?" You manage you blurt out breathlessly as you pull back to look at him. He's equally breathless as he answers.

"Is this not what you want?" He looks concerned.

"Is this what you want?" He swallows and pauses, like he's really analysing the question.

"I care about you. I care about all of you; yourself, Dean and Sam. You're my family." Family. Ouch. Where is this going?

"I'm drawn to you, and the truth is, I think about you. More than I should."

You contemplate his answer, not really sure how to take it. You try to simplify it.

"Do you want me?" He exhales but doesn't take his eyes off of you. He answers by caressing your cheek and then bringing your lips to his. This is all so new. It must be new to him too. It suddenly dawns on you that he would have never done it before. This could be awkward. You secretly hope he managed to catch a glimpse of Dean's choice of recreational viewing.

You reach down and undo his pants. He helps you to slide them off and you move to unbutton his shirt. You cannot believe what you're doing. You had never expected this to happen. You had never expected him to make you so excited in this way. The shirt comes off and suddenly it's just the thin fabric of his underwear that is between you both. You can feel him there, beneath you. You need to calm yourself, slow down your breathing. You lean down to kiss him. It's softer this time, more tender. You think back to all of those moments of awkward gazes, his nervousness, how protective he was. It suddenly clicks into place. He pulls off your t-shirt leaving you completely naked. He stares at you, taking the sight of you in, and suddenly you're self-conscious. Reflexively, you reach up and cover your chest with your forearms. You kiss him again so as not do draw attention to that movement. As the kiss ends his eyes linger on yours and he smiles. You smile back at him and suddenly your defences drop. He looks down at your chest and reaches out with one hand to caress you there. You shiver at his touch as he moves down your waist and rests his hand on your hip. You're completely exposed to him and it's suddenly turning you on. You can feel his reaction beneath you and you don't want to wait any longer. In a swift motion you're able to pull his underwear down from his hips and lean back to move them down his legs. He kicks them off and you're left hovering over him. A thin sheet of air between the two of you.

He swallows again. Maybe he's nervous. He looks down and watches as you hold him in place, then slowly lower yourself onto him. He gives out a low moan and closes his eyes. You watch him bite his lower lip as you move your hips. Your breathing quickens. He opens his eyes and meets your gaze. You suddenly realise you've been making soft seductive groans of your own. You feel him completely as he moves inside you. He begins to thrust below you and he goes deeper. It becomes almost uncomfortable. You shift slightly above him and it eases the pressure. He's bigger than anyone you've had before; not what you're used to. Unfamiliar. You rest your hands on his chest as he grips your waist. Moving you in time with his thrusts. You see him watching you take him in, watches how your wetness covers him. It's getting too much. Already you're feeling close to the edge. You reach up and tangle your fingers in his hair. "Cas-", you can barely talk. Your words are slurred. "I can't believe you're fucking me." Did you just say that? You're taken aback by your own words. You feel almost embarrassed. Maybe you were a little lost in the moment there. Cas doesn't seem to notice. He sits up straight and wraps his arms tightly around your waist. His face against your chest as his body tenses under you. You feel him release inside of you; calling out as he jerks his body in a few final thrusts.

He stays there, unmoving. Still inside of you. You mouth rests on his forehead. You can taste the sweat. After a few moments he pulls away, rests against the headboard. He doesn't take his eyes off of you. He smiles as he speaks. "I can see what all of the fuss is about." You laugh lazily, but you're not done. Not ready to stop. You lift yourself off of him. You feel the cold air over your skin and you're too aware of the absence of him inside you.

You move to the side of him, his eyes following you, and you hold his cheek with one hand as you kiss him. He uses a lot more tongue this time. Where did he learn that? He's turning you on so much. "Will you do something for me?" You smirk at him, and then bite your lip as you stare at his mouth.

"Anything."

You kiss him again, moaning as he massages your tongue with his own. You lie down next to him. "Can you use your mouth on me?"

"What do you mean?" Ah, okay, this is definitely new to him.

"Put your tongue… here." You gesture to yourself and he watches you. He moves himself slowly off of the mattress and positions himself so that he's kneeling on the floor at the foot of the bed. He grips your knees and pulls you down so that your legs dangle off the end. Maybe this isn't all that new to him. He spreads your legs slightly, and slowly uses his hand to stroke you there. You let out a heavy sigh, and prop yourself up on your elbows. Immediately catching his eye. He smirks.

"So you want me to-"

"I think you know what I want you to do." He's definitely taken some mental notes from one of Dean's rentals.

"Maybe, but I don't want to assume all women like the same technique." He's more serious now. There's the logical, thoughtful Castiel. It's reassuring. That's he's still himself.

"Just go with it, Cas."

He positions himself so that his lips are at your thigh, he plants soft kisses there, slowly leading up to the top of your leg. You shiver as he touches you lightly, teases you. Slowly he moves his mouth to your centre and gently kisses your clit, breathing heavily against it.

"Cas-" you say, between breaths. "Use your tongue". He obliges and gently moves his tongue over it. Covers it completely with his mouth as his tongue darts over and around it. Your arms shake as you adjust so that you're lying back on the bed. Gripping the bed sheets as your body warms up again. He groans like he's the one being turned on. His voice hums against you and nearly sets you off. He moves his hands under your legs and grips your thighs at the side, keeping them in place. You realise your whole body is moving involuntarily at his touch. Your breathing quickens. You're close. He moves his arms so that each hand rests against your sides, just below your chest, steadying your whole body. You moan louder and your body tenses as you come against his mouth. You can feel yourself twitching against his lips. His eyes are closed as he continues to kiss you there, savouring the taste of you. 

"Cas, come here." You reach out for him and he opens his eyes. He looks down once more where he last kissed you, and then moves to walk around the bed. He looks dazed as he rises to his feet, and has to steady himself. He smiles clumsily as he sits on the edge of the bed. You get up and manoeuvre yourself so that you're sitting on top of his lap. He holds you there as you kiss him fiercely. "Wow." You laugh shakily.

"I'm… glad you chose not to go with Sam and Dean tonight."

"Me too. Might make a habit of it." You grin but can't help but notice the faraway look on his face. "…Or not." You add. He snaps out of his thoughts and looks at you. A smile spreading across his face.

"Dean and Sam are back. I better disappear." You're suddenly on alert. You lift yourself off of him and pull on your t-shirt. You start straightening up the bed covers when the door opens.

"You're still awake." Dean says, surprise in his voice. You look sheepish and quickly turn to face where Cas was standing. He's gone. Dean raises an eyebrow at you. "You okay?" You nod quickly. "You know you'll regret coming home. You missed all the fun."

You can't help but smirk as you respond. "Yeah, if you say so Dean."

He studies you as you stand there, then looks around the room. "Did you have company?"

"No." You shake your head "I mean, Yeah. Cas stopped by. He was looking for you. That's all." He's still studying you. Then looks towards the distorted bed covers.

Does he know? Could he guess? You start to panic. Then panic over the fact that you're panicking. You don't regret what happened. So why are you feeling guilty? It didn't feel wrong. Then you look at Dean and realise it's the way he's looking at you. You feel like you're lying to him. You shake that thought from your head. You're not lying. It was private. You're not going to tell him every time you're intimate with someone. Although it wasn't just anyone. It was Cas. His friend. Dean nods to himself, then starts unpacking one of the bags that Sam brought in. The taste of Cas still lingers on your lips, but all you can see is the look that Dean had given you. 

He was jealous.


	2. Hands of a Hunter

It’s been a few weeks since that night with Castiel. Neither of you have really spoken about it since. 

There was an awkward moment a few nights ago when you, Cas and Dean had to search an abandoned warehouse. You had all split up, searching different sections of the building when you and Cas unintentionally met in one of the rooms. Usually, neither of you would think anything of it, but this time was different. You shared a secret and all thoughts went back to that night in the motel room and you couldn’t help but smirk at him. He didn’t smile back but the humour was there in his eyes, and that was good enough. 

You’ve thought about it since then. Even the memory of it turns you on. Some nights you have seriously considered getting him alone, just to initiate something. Maybe a re-enactment of that night. You never do, and you decide it might be better than way. 

Dean had been acting differently after that night, but he’s never tried to talk about it. Maybe the atmosphere had just weirded him out. By now he probably thinks he was imagining things. You’re happy to go along with that.

It’s gone midnight now and you’re still slumped over the desk with various books spread out. You stopped pretending to read well over an hour ago, and then just gave up on all pretences of you actually doing any work. Sam was sat on the bed, hastily typing on the laptop. You listen to his steady breaths and try not to fall asleep.

As far as motel rooms go, this is one of the worst. The smell of damp clings to the air and any breeze drawn in from outside carries the smell of weed with it. You can hear muffled shouts outside with the occasional sound of a smashed glass on the ground. The wallpaper is various shades of brown but you’re convinced they were once green. One painting hangs on the wall and you can’t figure out if it’s of an abstract design or if the painting was actually stolen and all that’s left of it is the mould ridden cardboard base. Needless to say, this place was a dump.

You’re not even sure where Dean’s gone. You briefly heard him talking to Sam about following a lead down town but that was when you were actually working and didn’t really pay attention to what was said. The sudden shatter of another glass bottle outside makes you flinch. You turn around to face Sam who is also looking up out of the window. 

“I don’t know how much you paid for this room but I promise it was too much.” Sam gives you one of his small smiles and nods in agreement, but quickly goes back to work. You get up and walk towards the window, careful to open the dusty curtains ever so slightly and with minimal contact. You can’t see anyone outside now. All that is visible is the broken glass covering the parking lot, a few bravely parked cars and the flickering neon vacancy sign. 

You turn around and walk over to the town brochure strategically placed on top of the twelve inch television set. You try to look for any listings of fast food places nearby but become distracted by a rhythmic thumping noise coming from the next room. You stand awkwardly as the noise becomes louder and is suddenly accompanied with loud moans. You quickly turn around to look at Sam, trying to suppress a laugh as Sam’s eyebrows pull together, his nose crinkling as his grimaces. You can no longer contain yourself as you snort out a laugh.

“On that note, I’m going to venture out to get some food.” You walk over to the chair and reach for your coat which was folded over the back of it.

“Okay, I’ll come with you.” He moves his laptop off of his lap and places it on the bed next to him. The bed covers were a faded pattern of brown, yellow and green squares. With a few cigarettes burns thrown into the mix. You may be imagining things; it could be the second hand inhalation of weed, but you’re sure that when Sam moves on the bed you can see the disturbance of dust particles. 

“You don’t have to come with me. There’s a diner across the street, I’ll just get us something from there.” He ignores you and sits on the edge of the bed, about to put on his shoes. “Sam!” You call out.

“What?” He looks up at you.

“I said you don’t have to come with me. It’s literally right across the street. If I can’t handle myself walking there and back then there’s definitely no hope for me being a hunter.”

Sam sighs and tosses his shoes back across the room. “Fine, just be quick, okay?” You smile and walk toward to door. 

“There might be a queue, just relax, okay?” He nods and settles back down onto the bed, laptop back in place. You walk out of the room and close the door behind you. 

Out of the two brothers, Sam has always been protective of you. Cas has started acting that way, he even admitted as much the other night. Blood rushes to your cheeks at the mere thought of ‘the other night’, you need to get a grip. Dean on the other hand, is the complete opposite. You don’t think it’s that he doesn’t care. He just knows you well enough to know you can take care of yourself. Sam, however, is always concerned. He never likes you wandering outside alone at night, and whenever you’re faced with danger, he often positions himself so he’s ever so slightly closer to you. You’ve never pointed it out to him before. Truth is, it’s comforting. In some strange way, you think it brings him comfort too. Knowing that there is someone there who he can protect. You wonder if there was someone in his past who he wasn’t able to protect, but you don’t really know anything about his past. He never talks about it. The diner is further away than you thought. You button up your jacket as you start walking across the parking lot. 

Finally you reach the diner and order two cheeseburgers and two coffees. There was no queue. You weren’t really expecting there to be. You just hated the idea of Sam watching from the window after a few minutes had gone by. You walk back across the parking lot, clutching at the warm coffee cups. You suddenly notice a black Impala parked close to the outside of your motel room. You walk slower as you watch Dean sit inside, motionless. Wondering what he’s waiting for. It takes you a few minutes of a dawdled walk to reach him, where he sits still unmoving. 

You tap on the passenger side window and wave, not wanting to startle him by just suddenly opening the door. He smiles at you as you step into the car, closing the door behind you.

“Are you okay?” You ask.

“Yeah, where were you?” He looks around the parking lot.

“At the diner. Here.” You hand him a coffee and cheeseburger. You’ll have to go back again for Sam. Dean smirks as he takes it from you.

“You know me so well.” You smile as you start to eat your own cheeseburger. “Although I’m not sure I know you as well as I used to.” He then takes a bite of his own.

“What do you mean?” You ask with your mouth full of food. You gave up on trying to be ladylike around the boys a long time ago.

“I know you and Cas slept together.” He says it indifferently, but there’s something in his face that lets you know that it was hard for him to say.

You try not to choke as you quickly swallow the food in your mouth. It burns your throat slightly as it goes down. “Did he tell you that?” you ask him.

“He didn’t ‘not’ tell me. It was obvious something was going on. I just don’t know why you didn’t tell me.” He doesn’t take his eyes from yours.

“Because there was nothing to tell. It was just sex.” He looks away from you then. “Why does it bother you?”

“It doesn’t.”

“Good, because who I sleep with isn’t really any of your business.” You try not to sound defensive, but you know it’s coming across that way. 

“I know.” Is all he can say. 

“Then why do you care?” You speak softer than before.

“Because I do.” He wraps up his half eaten cheeseburger, and puts it back into the paper bag. He takes his seatbelt off and moves to get out of the Impala.

“Wait, what do you mean by that?” You hold onto his forearm, but that doesn’t stop him from opening the car door and stepping out of it. You quickly get out of the car and follow him around to the other side. “Dean, wait. Can we talk about this?”

“No, it’s not important.” Before you can respond, he’s already at the motel door and stepping inside. You follow him in and see Sam stirring from sleep on the bed.

“Everything okay?” He asks Dean. 

“Yeah, nothing there. Waste of time.” He walks into the bathroom and shuts the door behind him.

Sam nods and then looks over to you. You stand there awkwardly trying to let the last few minutes sink in. Then after a beat, you finally find your voice.

“I may have given Dean your burger. I’ll go get you another one.” You turn to walk back out of the door.

“No, don’t worry about it. I’ll go. I could do with getting some air.” Usually you would insist upon going, but you had only one thing on your mind right now. You smile and nod as you watch Sam slip on his shoes and walk past you and out of the door. The sound of the shower fills the room, the plumbing creaking in the walls. You sit on the bed, slowly taking your shoes off and changing into your shorts and tank top. You sit there silent for a few minutes trying to analyse what Dean had said.

You can hear the shower turn off and you’re certain that you don’t want to wait until the two of you are alone again to be able to talk about it. You already found out earlier in the day, in the most embarrassing way possible, that the door doesn’t lock. You walk across the room and open the bathroom door. 

“I just need to brush my teeth.”

“Right now?!” You don’t answer as you walk over to the sink and run the water over your toothbrush. 

You’re standing in front of the mirror next to Dean. You look up at Dean’s reflection and for a moment you’re taken aback by the sight of him. You couldn’t see it before when sitting in the car. Now in the moderately lit bathroom, you can clearly see the abrasion by the side of his left eye, the way his bottom lip is swollen ever so slightly and the grazes over his knuckles. You lower your toothbrush onto the counter and turn to face him.

“Was this from tonight?” You gesture to the parts of your face that mirror the injuries of his own. He doesn’t look at you though, just dabs a washcloth over his eye.

You hate this. You used to be so comfortable around each other and now there’s this tension between the two of you. “Can I do anything?” You offer him, reaching up to his face. He quickly catches your hand in his own and looks at your reflection in the mirror.

“No.” He says, and it’s short and cold. 

“Fine.” You snap back at him and walk out of the bathroom. You’re so angry at him for being angry with you. He brought it up and now he doesn’t want to talk about it. What exactly did Castiel say to him in the first place? Why couldn’t he just tell Dean to mind his own business. Without thinking, you’re putting your shoes on. You have no idea where you’re going to go, but you’re too rattled to be in the same motel room as Dean right now.

Dean walks out of the bathroom, now dressed in lounge pants and a black t-shirt. His jaw tenses before he speaks. 

“I’m sorry.” It was hard for him to say.

“Don’t worry about it.” You tell him, but you’re still putting on your shoes.

“Where are you going?”

“I just need to get out of here.” You stand up, turning to find your jacket you had thrown off moments before. As you turn around, Dean is there, stood right in front of you.

“I’m sorry, okay?” He speaks more softly this time, and it relaxes you.

“Okay, but-” You’re cut off by his lips on yours. You were not expecting this, and it makes you stumble back a little. He steadies you in his arms, deepening the kiss as he does. You part your lips instinctively and you feel his tongue push its way through. You feel breathless and light-headed and for a moment forget just how angry you were. He smells of cheap motel soap and his skin is still slightly damp from the shower. It feels different to when you kissed Cas. There’s less uncertainty but more fear. You want Dean, but you know you shouldn’t. So many conflicting emotions. They’re overflowing and you pull away while you have the strength to. He keeps you close to him. You’re breathing heavily. 

“I can’t.” you finally manage to blurt out.

“Why not?” He’s still looking at your lips.

“Because it’s different with you.”

He murmurs against your neck, “It will be better.” He then moves and plants soft kisses along your jaw line.

“With you, it would be more than just sex.” He looks up at you then. “That’s why we’ve never gone there.”

He looks at you then, no humour in his eyes. “I can’t stand the thought of you being with him.” 

“I wasn’t trying to make you jealous.” 

“You sure about that?”

“Why would I?”

“Well regardless, it worked.” He raises his hands, gesturing at their situation.

“You’ve never been jealous before.” He doesn’t speak, but moves closer to you. His fingers lightly tracing the length of your arm. You want to talk this through. He had no reason to be jealous. It wasn’t like he was your boyfriend. Why did it suddenly bother him? All logical thought escapes your mind as a low moan escapes from your mouth. Without warning, his hand has reached underneath the waistband of your shorts and his fingers are stroking the smooth, wet skin there. He meets your eyes with his own and that’s all it takes for him to crush his mouth against yours, silencing any protest. With one hand against the small of your back, he steadies you. You grip his forearm, and feel the muscles move with every movement of his fingers. Your other hand has reached up to keep his face close to yours. 

He slips a finger inside of you, making you moan against his mouth. His eyes are closed but he smiles at how responsive you are. He then starts circling his thumb over your clit. You feel it throbbing against his touch. You want to move to the bed, but he has you firmly in place. It occurs to you that he’s positioned the two of you so that he can keep half an eye on the door. You think about Sam and know he is going to be back at any moment. Dean must be thinking the same thing as he starts to quicken his strokes, inserting another finger inside of you. You try to focus on something else. You want to draw it out as much as possible, but the realisation of what’s happening; the idea that Dean is fucking you with his hand sends you over the edge. Your fingernails dig into his forearm as you shudder against him. Feel yourself spasm as you come against his hand.

You’re left breathless as he loosens his grip on you and moves his hand from your back to your waist. You look down at his hand, which he then wipes across his black shirt. It’s then that you notice the bulge in his pants and you reach out to touch him there. He smiles sheepishly and goes to speak, but the sound of the door handle opening the front door makes him stop. You pull yourself away from him and smile at Sam as he walks into the room with his paper bag from the diner. 

Dean is able to compose himself almost immediately and acts completely natural as he starts talking about his latest solo recon from a few hours ago. Soon enough the pair of them are in a deep conversation. 

You lay yourself down on the bed as your head is still spinning. Hundreds of questions and uncertainties are racing through your mind. One thing that is for certain is that you want Dean Winchester. You watch him sitting on the desk, pointing to the laptop Sam has now set up over there. Sam starts typing into the search engine, giving Dean enough time to steal a quick glance your way. He smirks when he sees you were already looking at him. You look away, biting your lip; trying to suppress a goofy smile. Still tasting him on your lips, you cannot wait to get Dean alone again.


	3. The Feeling of You

The water from the shower felt cool on your skin. With closed eyes, you tilt your head back slightly and let the clean water spray over your face and chest. Strong hands at your waist urge you to turn around. You grin as you do so, now facing the shower wall. You rest your hands on the tiles in front of you, holding yourself steady. His lips are at your neck, kissing the delicate skin there and moving his hands from your chest to your waist, your ass to your inner thigh. You loved Dean when he was like this. He wasted no time exploring your body and left no room for your inhibitions. His voice was low in your ear.

“Sammy will be waiting for me. We gotta make this quick.”

You open your eyes and pout slightly, not that Dean could see. He lowers his hand down past your stomach and in between your legs; teasing the already sensitive skin there. Your eyes shut involuntarily once again and you lean your body against his. Your head rests against the crook of his neck and he starts to move his fingers at a quicker pace.

You and Dean have been stealing moments like this together whenever you had the chance. Days ago he admitted he was jealous of you and Cas, and despite not knowing the true meaning behind those feelings, you were glad it led to this. Sam had left early this morning and was planning on meeting up with Dean elsewhere. You were fairly certain Dean was already late, but you didn’t want this to be over any time soon.

Your breathing deepens as your body responds to his touch. The feel of him hardening against you turns you on even more. You move your hands from the tiles and reach above you to rake your fingers through Dean’s hair while your other hand grips onto his forearm. Dean’s other hand moves to your chest, playfully pinching a nipple. You let out a breathy moan and arch your back as your arousal builds. 

“Fuck.” Dean mutters through gritted teeth. He moves both of his hands to your hips and pushes his growing erection against you. You can’t help but sigh with the want of his body. The way he wants you as much as you want him only excites you further. He bends you over slightly, forcing you to place you hands back onto the tiles in front of you. As one hand stays on your hip, the other moves to your ass where he gives it a firm squeeze. Then he slowly strokes his hand along your sex. Your body twitches as his fingers graze your clit from a different angle. Your internal muscles clench in anticipation, throbbing with the need of him to be inside of you. As if reading your thoughts, he slowly sinks two fingers into the soft flesh, making you gasp and push back onto his hand. He leans over so that he’s close to your ear. “You ready for me?” You nod fervently. Taking himself in one hand, he guides himself to your entrance. You can feel him there, but he doesn’t penetrate. You’re impatient; still throbbing from the foreplay and the desperate need to come. You push back onto him in a futile attempt to get him inside of you. You hear a thick, low chuckle from behind you and know he’s playing a game.

“Dean, please fuck me.” You felt his cock twitch at the words. Feeling a small sense of pride, you cant your hips to evoke another reaction. This time, you hear Dean let out a guttural moan. “Fuck, Dean. Make me come. Please make me come.” 

That’s all it takes for Dean to push himself further inside of you. He lets out a gruff moan as he sinks deeper, pushing against the tightness of your walls. You bite your lip to stop yourself from crying out. Tears fall as you’re overcome with the feeling of him, hard and thick, inside of you.

His breathing is jagged and heavy, and he lightly strokes your back from the base of your neck to the curve of your ass, and then repeats the motion. His other hand steadies your hip. You feel him watch you as you move one hand from the wall and reach down to between your legs. His breath hitches when he feels your fingers lightly caressing his balls. You trace the delicate skin of his cock from the base to the point where you’re joined together. You clench your inner muscles around him causing him to choke out an incoherent word. With another sharp intake of breath, he pulls out slowly, and pushes back into you again. 

He soon builds up a rhythm and you bounce back against him to meet each thrust. With both hands now against the wall again, you bend over making yourself lower and allowing him even deeper into you. From the sudden groan you hear behind you, he obviously approves of the adjusted positioning. As his thrusts become more frantic, you can feel your orgasm building. Your inner walls feel raw from the friction, but you still need more. You turn your head to look at him behind you. His eyes are shut tightly, and his face is a mixture of pleasure and tension; like he’s straining to keep control. When he opens his eyes, they dart straight to yours. Breathing hard, he flashes a broad smile but drops it just as quickly as tension covers his faces again. He’s close to the edge.

He moves a hand around your waist, and starts to rub your clit, making your hips buck in response. “Oh God, Dean.” 

“Come for me. I wanna feel you come.” His voice was low and authoritative and fuck if it isn’t the sexiest sound. Then, without warning, he leans over you and presses his lips to your shoulder. He plants an open mouthed kiss on your skin and then bites down on the flesh. The mixture of pleasure and pain finally tips you over the edge and your body convulses as your orgasm hits you. You bite your lip to stifle your cries, but your moans and whimpers still fill the small room. Feeling you clench around him, your orgasm pulls Dean into climax as well. With a few clumsy, uncoordinated thrusts, he empties inside of you.

Slowly you stand up straight and turn to face him. His eyes are already on you and carefully he steps forward, causing you to step back against the wall. He rests his forearm on the wall next to you. His other hand tangles in your hair as he crushes his mouth against yours. You move your arms from his sides to his chest. Feeling the taut muscles and smooth skin there. You then slowly move your hands to his face, holding him in place.

Just when you think you could happily stay like this forever, he pulls away from you. He quickly washes himself down under the shower spray and then rubs the water from his eyes with the palms of his hands. You can’t help but gawk at him. His green eyes are accentuated in the glow of the bathroom light and damp of the water. He catches you staring and winks at you. You bite your lip to repress a ridiculous giggle that threatens to escape from you. He steps out of the shower and begins to dry himself off with a towel. You make a weak attempt to look as though you’re not just stood there watching him, admiring his body. He reaches into the pocket of his pants that were previously discarded on the floor. 

“Three missed calls. That boy doesn’t like being stood up.”

You smirk at the comment and lather the complimentary motel soap in your hands, finishing what you started right before Dean’s welcome interruption. “Remind Sam to text me the address of the latest vic’s mother, Mrs. Lieberman. I’ll meet with her while you guys are at the police station.”

“Will do.” Dean finishes dressing and reaches for the bathroom door handle, but not before stopping to watch you. You look at him as he stands motionless, but you’re unable to see his expression through the textured glass. He takes a breath like he’s about to speak, but stops himself and walks out of the room. You stare at the closed door absently as you rinse the soap out of your hair and off of your body. You wished you understood what this was to him. You have no delusions about who he is and his attitude to sex. He’s attracted to you, you know that much, but you’re not convinced it goes any deeper than that. You know you care about Dean; moreso than you realised before. Things were bound to change eventually, whether things with Dean went further or stopped altogether. You’re enjoying this, whatever this is. Obsessive over it will just take away the enjoyment so you made the decision to just let it play out naturally. 

A few minutes later you step out of the shower, wrapping a towel around yourself. You grin as you think back to moments before, when Dean wordlessly walked into the room and undressed, joining you in the shower. His mouth claiming yours before you could protest the intrusion. You blush at the memory of him.

You hear movement beyond the bathroom door. You had thought Dean had already left, but he was obviously looking for something. You hesitate at first, not sure whether you want to see Dean in your half naked state. Not so much because you’re feeling bashful but because the memory of what you both had just done has left you craving more, and seeing him now would make it hard to let him leave.

He’s still out there, and the cold air is leaving goose bumps on your skin. You sigh in defeat and reach out to turn the door handle. You stop yourself before turning it and step back to glance at the mirror. Your run your fingers through your wet hair, moving the strays away from your forehead. Press a finger under your eyelid to wipe at the smudged mascara that hadn’t washed away properly. When you decide that you’re as presentable as you possibly can be, you open the door and step out with feigned confidence.

You almost stumble backwards when you see Castiel stood in the middle of the room.

“Fuck!” you shout in involuntarily. Cas raises an eyebrow and tactlessly takes the sight of you in. You clumsily step back into the bathroom, so that you’re hidden behind the wall. “Cas, can’t you knock?”

“What are you doing?” He frowns in confusion. Tilts his head slightly in the direction you disappeared. 

“I’m not dressed. Could you wait outside?” You wrestle with the towel to wrap it more tightly around you.

“I don’t mind waiting for you to dress.”

You roll your eyes. “Then wait outside so I can have some privacy.”

“You’re embarrassed.” His face softens in realisation. “You needn’t be, I’ve seen you naked before.” 

Your cheeks burn. “Right. I just- Can you just, turn around?” You stumble over your words. You look down at yourself to make sure your sufficiently covered. “Face the other way.” You clarify.

Cas doesn’t respond, just slowly turns around to face the window. You timidly step back into the room, and reach into your bag to pull out some clothes. Then with quick strides, make your way into the bathroom. You take your time getting dressed, wanting to wait for your heart rate to settle and rosy cheeks to calm before facing him again. Once you’re ready, you amble back into the room to see Cas still facing the other way. You watch him for a moment. It had been a while since you had seen him, and you realise that in a small way, you had kind of missed him. In your mind, you always picture him so strong and formidable, which he is, but he’s also flawed. Despite his build he seems small as he stands motionless. You always used to think that Jimmy Novak was beautiful, but it wasn’t Jimmy you were seeing, it was Castiel; and he was beautiful. 

“You just missed Dean.” You finally say after not knowing what else to. It brings you a flood of memories of the last time Cas had come to a motel looking for the man in question, only to find you.

He turns around then. “I know he’s not here. I just came to see you.”

His face is neutral and matter of fact. Your heart races again and you feel that familiar burn in your cheeks. “Cas, I know we never really spoke about what happened that night.” He looks at you intently, trying to figure something out. You continue, “But I don’t think- I don’t want to confuse things between us.” His eyes don’t leave yours and his cool stare gives you no clue to his thoughts. “Do you get what I’m saying?”

“I came to see you because Sam asked me to go with you to see Mrs. Lieberman.”

“Oh.” You look away, not sure whether to be relieved or embarrassed at your misunderstanding. 

He explains further, “He believes she may still be in danger and wanted to make sure you weren’t alone in case something were to happen.”

“That makes sense.” You nod absently, and then look back at him. “I just need to blow-dry my hair and I’ll be ready to go.” You turn to walk towards your open bag that sits on the floor next to the bed. 

He nods back. “Why are you worried about there being confusion?” 

That stops you almost mid-step. Your mind backtracks trying to figure a way out of that misunderstanding. 

“Between us.” He repeats your words from before.

“I’m not worried.” You smile reassuringly, then decide that the truth is probably the best explanation to give him. “I thought you might have come to see me for a different reason. That it might have had something to do with the other night when we… You know, but that was stupid of me. I know that it’s probably long gone from your mind, and I’m certainly not dwelling on it.”

“You’re talking about the night we had sex.”

You’re momentarily taken aback by his bluntness. “Yeah, that’s the night.”

“What makes you think it’s no longer on my mind?”

“Well, you never mentioned it after it happened. I’m not saying that I was expecting you to, but that gave me the impression you were over it.”

“No, that’s not the case. I never mentioned it because I didn’t know if you wanted me to. Then Dean asked me if I was with you that night and I told him I was. It seemed to affect him, so I assumed it was something not to be talked about.” You look away, biting your lip as you consider what he’s said. “I’m not over it. I’m very much under it.”

You frown at him and your lip twitches with a small smile. “That doesn’t make sense.”

“What doesn’t?”

“Saying ‘I’m not over it’ would have sufficed.”

“Right.” He looks away from you then, for the first time since he had turned around.

You walk closer to him in an attempt to act more natural, then try changing the subject. “Did Sam tell you Mrs. Lieberman’s address?”

“No, he said he would send it to you.” He locks eyes with you again and for a moment you’re lost in the blue of his. You realise, despite the effort, you can’t let it go.

“What do you mean when you say you’re not over it?”

He considers the question. “Meaning I still think about it… Fondly.”

You let out a soft laugh at his choice of words. “Fondly.” He looks at you warmly then, and you realise you’ve been inching closer to him without even realising. “Yeah, I liked it too. I don’t regret that it happened but I still think we should probably not do it again. Sex can be… It can confuse things and feelings get all mixed up.” You realise that you’ve been staring at his lips and quickly look up into his eyes. “But I’m glad you had a good experience.” You cringe at your own choice of words. “I mean, I’m glad your first time wasn’t…” You sigh and lower your head, frustrated at your lack of coherency. When you look up, Cas is even closer than before. You’re not sure which one of you inched even closer but your lips were suddenly against his. Your hands unconsciously fist in his jacket under his trench coat. You part your lips slightly and he takes his cue to deepen the kiss. 

The warmth of his tongue brings you back to reality. You break the kiss and take a step back. You mutter an apology although you’re not sure which one of you really initiated it. Cas looks to the floor and straightens his jacket. 

The sound of your phone’s text alert in the quiet of the room makes you flinch. You reach into your pocket to retrieve it. “It’s from Sam. Mrs. Lieberman’s address.” 

“I’ll go wait in the car and leave you to finish getting ready.” You look up to respond to him but he’s already gone. 

You think back to the first time you ever kissed Cas. Just now was different. Not better, not worse. Just different. You had never expected to learn that he still thought about that night; let alone about you. Your thoughts go to Dean and you’re overcome with guilt. Despite not fully understanding your relationship with Dean, you knew you didn’t want to be intimate with anyone else. You know that now more than ever. 

Not wanting to keep anything from him, you decide you’ll tell Dean about what happened as soon as you get the chance to.


	4. Just a Jealous Guy

Castiel pushes the sugar bowl closer to you after the waitress places the coffee mug on the table. You smile and mutter a quiet thanks as you slowly stir the drink in front of you. You can still feel Cas watching you but can’t bring yourself to look him in the eye.

That afternoon you had tried your hardest to act normal, but your thoughts were chaotic. Things that would have seemed natural before were suddenly laced with hidden meaning and intent. When he caught your eye in the car, or when he touched your arm as he brushed past you. Did he ever do that before? Maybe he did and you never noticed. Before, you would have convinced yourself it was all in your head. That you were unnecessarily over thinking everything.

But he kissed you. Or you kissed him. Either way, there was a kiss. He said still thought about that night. Maybe those little glances and actions were as deliberate as they seemed. The truth was that you had no way of knowing how he really felt.

You can’t help but feel relieved when you hear the diner’s door chime. They’re finally here. Sam is the first to see you, and walks towards your table. Dean follows after him with tension etched across his features. You imagine they had no luck at the sheriff's office; reaching the same dead end as you and Cas.

Sam sits next to you, placing a wad of files on the table. Dean slowly lowers himself into the seat next to Castiel. He jaw tenses and you will him to look at you, but his eyes are focused on his hands resting on the table in front of him. He doesn’t move until the waitress comes over again. He and Sam each ask for coffee, but Dean adds a burger and fries to his order. Sam opens one of the files which has copies of various documentation: police reports, statements and photographic evidence.

“How did it go with Mrs. Lieberman?” Sam’s voice pulls your focus away from Dean.

“Waste of time.”

“What does she think happened to her daughter?”

“The cops told her it was a homicide, so that’s what she believes. She had nothing else to tell us.”

“Yeah, we couldn’t find much either. The Jersey Devil seems to be covering its tracks.”

Castiel’s brow creases as he questions Sam. “What makes you so sure it’s a Jersey Devil?” Dean glances at him from the side before looking ahead at Sam.

“Dean and I had to deal with one a few years ago. They’re usually easy to track down but harder to kill. I’m surprised Mrs. Lieberman hasn’t seen anything suspicious.” He turns to you then, and you shrug in response. Sam rummages through the files and pulls out an old creased sheet of paper. On it is a sketch of the creature. “Dean and I are going to head to the morgue first thing tomorrow, so maybe you and Cas can go back there and show her this?” You look across to Dean again as you take the sketch from Sam. You don’t miss the glare he throws at his brother, and then he looks away, the tension in his jaw returning. “Sometimes opening someone up to the idea of something supernatural makes them more perceptive to it.”

Cas leans forward, conflicted. “You mean putting the idea in their head.”

Dean turns his attention to Cas, but looks down at the table in front of him rather than at his face. “No. He means suggesting to the woman that she stop being so naive and start actually helping us find out what happened to her daughter.”

The outburst leaves everyone in silence. Sam frowns as he looks at Dean, trying to read his face. Thankfully the silence is interrupted when the waitress comes over with the two coffees and Dean’s burger.

“Very well.” Cas confirms. “We will visit her tomorrow to discuss her naivety.”

Despite the atmosphere, you can’t help but smirk. Staring down at your coffee, you stifle a laugh that threatens to escape. When you look up, the small smile still present on your face, you see Dean watching you. His face deadpan and quite frankly, pissed off. Your smile quickly fades but you can‘t bring yourself to look away. Sam breaks the silence once again.

“We should probably head straight back to the motel after this. It looks like there’s a storm coming.” Instinctively, you look out of the diner window. The sky was a darkening grey. Your eyes fall on Cas sitting in front of you, he’s still looking at the gloomy sky outside. You then turn back to Dean. He’s still looking at you. It bothers you that you’re unable to read him.

The next twenty minutes were agonisingly slow. Sam tried to make conversation a few times, but Dean wasn’t interested. You were too distracted by Dean to focus on anything else, so that left Cas. You were able to pick up enough words to know that he and Sam were discussing the case.

When Dean finally paid the bill, you were the first to stand up. Not that you could get very far from your window seat. You just finished tugging on your jacket when Sam excused himself to use the restroom. You were the one to shoot a glare at Sam this time. Even more so when you realised that this left you alone with Dean and Castiel. The three of you hadn’t been alone together since before that night with Cas.

You look around the diner. Looking anywhere except at the two men next to you. You notice a wall menu close to where you stand. You gesture to it as you speak.

“If I had known they served mocktails here, I would have ordered a Shirley Temple.” Neither Dean or Cas respond. The silence made you even more nervous, causing you to ramble. “I used to have those all the time as a kid. Shirley Temples.” You start fumbling with the zipper of your jacket; not that you ever wore it completely done up. “They’re good.” Cas looks at you then and smiles affectionately. At least he thinks your awkwardness is endearing.

Dean silently steps forward so he’s stood in front of you and takes hold of your hand in his. He rubs his thumb over yours and when he looks down he meets your eyes. You’re taken aback from the gesture. For a moment, you’re feeling giddy from the unexpected contact. Then you realise this was more than likely not for your benefit. You would have probably pulled away first had Dean not already done so when he sees Sam returning from the restroom. You look back at Cas, who was still intently looking at the ominous weather outside. Finally ready to go, the four of you leave the diner and walk out into the parking lot.

Castiel reaches the Lincoln first and Sam raises his hand in a goodbye gesture. Dean walks on ahead but you linger to speak to Cas.

“I’ll see you tomorrow when we go back to Mrs. Lieberman’s.”

He nods. “I’ll pick you up from the motel.” You give him a quick smile and continue to walk towards the Impala. “I’ll remember to knock.”

You look up at Dean waiting by the Impala. You’re fairly certain he wouldn’t have heard Cas, but your cheeks burn regardless. You turn to look back at Cas but he’s already getting into his car.

Once you reach the Impala you slide into the backseat just as light raindrops begins to fall against the windows. The drive to the motel is wordless, but thankfully short.

Sam reaches the motel first and unlocks the door. The three of you walk into the room, with Sam heading straight to the bathroom. You hear the shower turn on instantly. Dean takes off his jacket, kicks off his shoes and sits on the edge of the bed. He rubs his palms against his eyes and then up and down the top of his legs.

You need to talk to him. You want to know what’s on his mind, but you’re tired. Still slightly annoyed about the scene at the diner.

“I’m just gonna go to bed.” He looks up at you, but you’re opening the joining door to the other room before he can say anything. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You close the door behind you and stand motionless in the room for a moment. With a tired sigh, you begin to shrug off your jacket. You bend down to pull off your shoes and then walk across the room to the window. The rain has become heavier and you’re thankful you made it back when you did. As you draw the curtains closed you hear the door behind you open suddenly, then shut again just as quickly. You turn around to see Dean stride towards you. He pulls you into him and kisses you desperately.

You’re annoyed at him. You’re confused and upset that he would act the way he did. But he’s kissing you and his hands are on you and suddenly that’s all you can focus on. He turns you both and gently pushes you back onto the bed, without breaking the kiss. Lifting your body you help him pull away your clothing. He lifts your t-shirt over your head, then becomes sidetracked by the black lace bra you’re wearing. You finish pulling the t-shirt over your head and unhook your bra with ease. He’s quick to tug the material away from you and replaces it with his own hands. He bites his lip in appreciation of the sight of you. You tug at his own t-shirt then, and with a quick yank of his hand, it’s over his head and discarded on the bed. You have already unbuttoned his jeans but his hands are on yours. Impatiently tugging them over your hips and down your thighs. He manages to pull your underwear down with them and it leaves you completely exposed to him. The way his eyes darken as he looks at you makes you smile. He’s dumbfounded and turned on and you love that you have this effect on him.

When he regains focus, he finally kicks off his own jeans and underwear, leaving nothing but a thin sheet of air between you both. He kisses you softly, with less desperation than before. His light stubble tickling your chin. You try to deepen the kiss but he pulls away. Lowering his head, he trails his lips along your neck. Then he reaches your chest, kisses your breast and then covers a nipple with his open mouth. His tongue massaging the sensitive nub. You stretch out beneath him, riding out the sensation. When he moves his mouth away, you let out a disappointed whimper. The disappointment soon fades when you realise he’s moving lower. Small, soft kisses across your stomach, down to your hip.

You bite your lip in familiar excitement. His breath feels hot against your skin. Instinctively, you spread your legs wider. A appreciative sigh escapes from Dean as he grips onto your hips to pull you down the mattress, positioning himself at the end of the bed as he does so. Your fingers run through Dean’s hair as your urge him closer to your centre.

“You want something, baby?” You feel the vibrations of his voice against your skin and it’s making you wet with arousal. As you gently pull on his hair to lower his face, you catch him smiling at your impatience. He then mouths your clit, deftly massaging it with his tongue. He’s so fucking good at that. You try not to think about the logistics of him becoming so well practised. You just know that you’re grateful he’s using that incredible mouth on you. Dean Winchester. Fucking you with his tongue.

Subconsciously, you reach one hand up to cover your breast. Squeezing the flesh and lightly circling your nipple with your finger tip. The same way Dean would; desperate, arching your back, wanting for feel more of him. You need more. You sit up so you can watch him as he works his mouth over you. Your legs spread wider with your feet planted on the mattress. One hand is supporting your weight behind you and the other is still resting on Dean’s head. He’s breathing heavy and making a low groaning sound; like he’s loving the taste of you. You can’t help the soft whimpers that escape from you. The clear view of what he’s doing to you fuels your arousal even more so. 

He pulls away to look up and his green eyes look intently into yours. It makes your stomach knot. He’s never looked at you like that before. There’s something written on his face that you don’t recognise. Kneeling up, he kisses your mouth deeply. He taste unfamiliar, a musk you don’t recognise. You realise it’s you. You’re tasting yourself on his tongue. It makes you moan against his lips. He murmurs something between kisses, but you’re too worked up to make sense of any words. You pull away from the kiss with a loud moan as you feel him insert a finger inside of you. With his other hand, he gently brings your face to his again, returning to the kiss. He slips a second finger inside and the added pressure against your inner walls make you instinctively cant your hips, aching for more friction. Just as you start to build a rhythm, he breaks the kiss and moves his mouth back to your clit. Your body begins to tense as your orgasm builds. Unable to hold yourself up, you lower yourself back down onto the bed, tangling your fingers in the sheets.

It hits you hard and you have to bite your lip to stop yourself from crying out. You can feel his grip on your hip tighten, trying to steady your shuddering body. When you finally become too sensitive for his mouth, you squirm beneath him. He leans back and you’re taken aback by the sight of him. His hair is dishevelled and his lips glisten with your wetness. He keeps his fingers inside of you.

You’re still breathing heavily. With each stroke of his fingers against your g-spot you feel the tension build again. You clench around his fingers and he mutters a husky “damn it” as he withdraws his hand. He stands up, completely naked at the end of the bed. Then with his hand, covered in your juices, he takes hold of his cock and strokes himself as he moves onto the bed. Positioning himself between your legs, he guides himself to your entrance.

Usually he would tease you; make you whimper and beg for it. Not this time. He watches himself as he pushes into you. Your eyes squeeze shut and your breath hitches sharply. He holds onto your hips in a firm grip and pushes himself in deeper. When you open your eyes, you see that he’s straining. Torn between wanting to cry out in pleasure, and keeping as quiet as possible since his brother was in the next room.

He reaches out to you and you hold onto his shoulders as he pulls you up into his lap. One of his hands is tangled in your hair while the other grips your thigh. You wrap your legs around him and your hands are on his back; revelling in the feel of his flexing muscles and smooth skin. The position has allowed him to sink deeper into you and you have to crush your mouth against his to dampen your moans.

You begin to rock in his lap and it makes him squeeze his eyes shut. He lowers his head onto your shoulder as his breathing quickens. You place your hands on his shoulders as you move with more deliberation, and he grips your ass tightly, encouraging the rhythm.

The tension within you is still building and you know it wont take much more for you to come again. Dean lifts his head and you press your forehead to his. You feel his hot breath on your lips. Bringing a hand around to rest on his cheek, you kiss him again. This time, you gently take his bottom lip between your teeth. He kisses you back roughly and begins to thrust upward. The pressure makes you shudder as a second orgasm washes over you. You absently hear Dean let out a few breathy grunts as he then tenses with his own release. You feel his mouth against your shoulder and a sharp pain follows. He thrusts once more and then pushes you both back down onto the bed. Your arms are still wrapped around him, holding him in place. His face is buried in the crook of your neck.

After a while, the weight of him on top of you becomes too much. You wriggle beneath him, making him roll onto his back. Suddenly feeling more self conscious, and all too aware of Dean’s come between your legs, you get up and head to the bathroom to freshen up.

As you wash your hands in the sink, you look up at your reflection in the mirror. Half amused at the sight of your tangled hair, you attempt to comb through it with your fingers. It’s then that you notice the bite mark Dean had left on your shoulder. You trace a finger lightly over the bruised skin.

When you return from the bathroom, you see Dean asleep on the bed. You linger in the doorway for a moment, deciding to take the opportunity to admire him from where you’re stood. His features are completely still; his full lips, slightly parted and his hair tousled. Fuck, he looks good after sex. Your hair is still tangled, slightly damp from sweat and you’re becoming more aware of the dull ache around your inner thighs. Slowly and quietly you walk over to the bed and lie down on top of the sheets, facing Dean. His breathing is steady and soothing.

A bolt of lightening brightens the room for a second, and heavy rain soon follows. You lift yourself up to pull down the sheets underneath you, then pull them over your body. You settle back into the same position on your side, and look back at Dean. His eyes are now open, but heavy lidded. Neither of you speak. You just focus of the sound of the rain and soft thunder in the distance. Dean is still completely naked on top of the sheets, and you have to remind yourself not to gaze. When you finally speak, your voice is soft.

“Does Sam know you’re here?” He hums in response. “Isn’t he going to suspect something?”

His lip twitches. “Sam’s not an idiot. He’s figured it out.”

You’re not surprised. Not even embarrassed. A part of you wonders how long he had known for, but you have a more important question on your mind.

“What happened at the diner? You seemed… Tense.”

“It doesn’t matter.” He closes his eyes. He’s exhausted. Spent.

“Did something happen at the sheriff's office?”

He lets out a breathy laugh and shakes his head. “Had nothing to do with that.” He opens his eyes again. Looking up at the ceiling, he sighs and sits up on the bed. He rubs his eyes with the palms of his hands. You wait patiently as he gathers himself. Almost excited that he might finally open up to you. “I didn’t know Sam had told Cas to go with you. He told me on the way to the diner.”

“Why did that bother you?” You sit up and rest a hand on Dean’s bicep. The movement causes the sheet to fall from your body, letting your naked form brush against Dean’s back. He quickly turns his head to catch a glimpse of you but his view is blocked by the closeness of your bodies. With Dean distracted, you ask him again. “Is there a reason you didn’t want Cas on the case?”

“It’s not that I didn’t want him on the case.” Another bolt of lightening. This time you both look out of the window. You rub Dean’s arm again, urging him on. It brings him back to you, and he sighs again. “I didn’t like the idea of him being with you.” There’s a lump in your throat. A voice in your head chastising you for not mentioning the kiss. “Which is crazy, I know. I guess I just…” The thunder becomes louder and the rain heavier. “I guess I’m jealous of him.”

You raise your eyebrow, surprised by his words. “You’re jealous of him? After what we just did?” Your hand trails down to his forearm. “I’m sat behind you completely naked and you’re jealous of him?”

“I’m jealous of him because he had you first.”

“Well I didn’t realise it was a competition between the two of you.” It’s snappier than you had meant it to be. He turns around to look at you again.

“That’s not what I meant. I know he cares about you. You obviously like him enough to sleep with him.” Suddenly feeling awkward, with Dean’s words and his eyes on you, you reach out for the t-shirt on the bed. As you hold onto it you realise it’s Dean’s. You put it on anyway, avoiding Dean’s eyes as you do. “I’m not kidding myself here.” He forces a grin. “I’m no angel.” That makes you smirk. You meet his eyes, expecting to see humour in them, but instead see something else.

Leaning forward you press your lips against Deans shoulder. “No. You’re Dean Winchester.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the lovely comments <3 They're all so encouraging!  
> 


	5. She Holds a Key

His lips are hot on your skin. His hands urgently covering your body. You hold onto a fistful of his hair as you settle yourself in his lap. When his mouth finds yours, the kisses are desperate and needy. You pull away gasping for breath and his bright blue eyes are staring into yours. _Blue eyes._

You wake up from the dream in a haze, shivering from the cold. It’s then that you realise the sheets have been pulled back from the other side of the bed. You hear the toilet flush followed by running water from the bathroom. With the curtains drawn, the only source of light in the room is from a bedside digital clock. It’s three fifteen in the morning. You rub your eyes with the back of your hand. You’ve never dreamt of Cas before. Your heart is still racing but you try to level your breathing as Dean walks out of the bathroom and back to the bed. He resumed his earlier position, lying on his side behind you, his other hand caressing your hip. You rarely slept together in the same bed. Dean usually shared a room with Sam. Or when there was one room between the three of you, you would all end up taking turns on the sofa or the fold-out bed. 

Sam knew you were together tonight. You’re not sure how long he’s known about the two of you, or even how he found out. Dean isn’t one for public displays of affection. You always imagined he wouldn’t want Sam or anyone to know he’s been sleeping with the same girl for weeks. You could imagine Sam ribbing Dean, referring to you as his girlfriend. 

You feel Dean nuzzle your hair as his hand moves from your hip and across your stomach. When he reaches your breast, you feel him harden behind you. You turn your head to face him but before you have a chance to look at him, he’s kissing you. It’s not his usual style. He’s sloppy and sleepy and somehow this feel a lot more intimate.

He pushes his t-shirt you’re wearing up and over your breasts and moves himself on top of you. You raise you arms above you to assist in the undressing, smirking as he lifts the shirt over your head and then pushes it as far as your elbows. Impatient and distracted by the sight below him, he drops his head to kiss your chest while his hand gently squeezes the soft skin there. The move was unexpected and the sensation makes you grip the headboard behind you as your arch your back.

Keeping one hand on your body, he fumbles lower with the other. Lifting his body to get a better view. You realise he’s trying to push off his pants. You smirk again when he lets out a soft groan of frustration. Once he’s managed to undress himself, he catches your eye and smirks back. The he’s kissing your mouth once again. Wanting to touch him, you free your arms from the shirt and toss it to the floor. Your hands move to his face, encouraging the kiss to deepen. 

He nudges your legs wider apart with his knee and settles himself closer against you. He doesn’t break the kiss as he guides himself to you. He lets out a guttural moan as he pushes against your tightness. Despite the lack of foreplay, you’re more than ready for him. It occurs to you that your dream may have helped in your arousal but you shake that thought from your head. You can’t think about Cas right now. 

Dean’s thrusts are clumsy and without rhythm, but with each contact he hits your g-spot. Gently, you reach a hand between your bodies to gently tease your clit. He pulls away from the kiss with tension spread across his face. You close your eyes in reflex as you feel the pressure between your legs building. He begins to speed up his movements and his breathing quickens. He feels hot and primal and you never realised sex with Dean could be like this. He was always so aware and in control, so focused on pleasing you. Right now he was bare and vulnerable. He was letting his guard down while he was with you and that kind of trust made you swell with affection for him. 

When you finally open your eyes, you see him above you, watching your face closely. His gaze lingers and for a moment, the tension from his face is gone. He goes to speak but instead he blinks away any thoughts he has; goes back to concentrating on his pelvic movements. He looks between your bodies then. Watches where you are both joined together and the movement of your hand. He moves deliberately slower, pushing into you deeper. Sliding against your g-spot again, you cry out as your orgasm hits you. He looks up; watching you as you come. That sort of thing always made you feel self-conscious. You would usually turn away and close your eyes, so you weren’t able to see him staring. You let him watch you this time. Meeting his eyes as the last few waves roll over you. His eyes are a darker shade of green than usual and you lift yourself to kiss him hungrily. It’s hot, open mouthed and a lot less well practised. He responds to it though, and with a few more trusts he moans against your mouth as he comes. You wrap your arms around him tightly, holding his against you as he convulses with his release. 

He stays on top of you for a few minutes, heavy and sated. You try to stretch under the weight of him and he moves off of you. Rolling onto his back, he pulls you with him so you’re lying against his chest. It’s only then you notice it has started raining again outside. You hear a soft roar of thunder in the distance and you nuzzle in closer to him, revelling in the secure feeling of being wrapped in Dean’s arms. Post-sex cuddling was never something you both did, and right now you couldn’t understand why.

 

You wake up to the sound of muffled voices in the next room. You know it’s the two brothers from the absence of Dean beside you. You lazily stretch out an arm across the mattress. You can feel the slight warmth left there by him. The only sign that he was there the night before.

Glancing at the clock on the night stand, you’re surprised to see it’s only eight thirty-seven. Pulling the sheet up over your shoulders, you roll onto your back; savouring a peaceful moment alone before facing the day ahead. 

The sound of the Impala’s car door opening and closing outside gets your attention. Were they leaving already? You reluctantly get out of bed and quickly pull out an old t-shirt and cotton shorts from your bag. Once you’re dressed, you let yourself into the brothers’ room. The front door is open and beyond it you can see Sam placing his files and laptop case on the backseat of the car, and then moving to the passenger seat. 

“We’ll all set!” He calls out from the open window. Dean then emerges from the bathroom, looking surprised when he sees you.

“Hey, I thought you were still asleep.” He walks over to the chair to retrieve his jacket.

“You guys going already?”

“Yeah,” he sighs. “Sam wanted to get an early start. Not my idea.” He pauses for a moment, considering his words. “Cas should be by later to pick you up.” You look up at him questioningly. “What?”

“Nothing.” You shake your head and your mind races for a way to change the subject. “Did you guys get breakfast?”

“Is there a reason you shouldn’t go with him? Like you said, I have nothing to worry about.”

“And you don’t,” you hesitate. “It’s just that I would understand if that would make you feel uncomfortable.”

“Of course it will make me feel uncomfortable,” he rubs his jaw, eyes fixed on the floor. “But… I’ll deal with it.”

The Impala door opens again and Sam steps out. “Dean, you comin’?”

“Be right there, Sammy!” He calls over his shoulder. He pulls his jacket on and picks up his cell phone from the table. Pausing in the doorway, he turns to you. “I’ll see you later.” Before you can respond, he shuts the door behind him. 

You had showered and dressed soon after Sam and Dean had left. For the last few hours you had been lying on your bed drinking the motel’s cheap complimentary coffee whilst watching soap opera re-runs. 

You glance at your cell phone. It has just gone one in the afternoon, and you have no messages or missed calls. Sighing, you sit up and switch the TV off using the remote. You had thought Cas would have been here a lot sooner. Getting up from the bed, you walk over to the window. At least the rain had stopped.

Scanning the parking lot, you have to look twice when you see Cas’ Lincoln parked at the far end of the motel. You pull on your jacket and with your phone in hand, you walk out of the front door.

As you approach the Lincoln you can see Cas sat in the driver’s seat. You walk around to the passenger side and let yourself in. He looks almost surprised to see you, like you had interrupted him deep in thought.

Deliberately raising an eyebrow, you ask “how long have you been sitting here?”

“Not long.”

You fasten your seat belt. “Were you just going to stay in the car?”

He gives you a small smile. “No. Like I said, I was going to knock this time.”

“Right,” you return his smile. “So what were you doing?”

“I was just… Thinking.” He turns the key in the ignition, and the car hums in response.

“Dare I ask?” You don’t miss the spark in his eyes and the soft twitch of his upper lip.

“I saw Mrs. Lieberman this morning.”

“This morning?” That would explain why he was late. “Why didn’t you wait for me?”

“I thought it might be better if only one of us were to visit her. Talk to her one to one.”

“Then shouldn’t I have been the one to talk to her.”

“Sam said it might not be safe. I couldn’t have let you go alone.” It’s a endearing sentiment but you still have to fight to urge to protest. You could handle yourself; despite what Sam would have Cas believe. “She mentioned a warehouse. It’s a old establishment a few blocks from her house. A few days before her daughter disappeared she had been walking home from work when she saw something strange.”

“Did she elaborate on ‘strange’?”

“She believed it to be an animal of some kind, but for whatever reason it troubled her.” 

An animal. That didn’t sound too out of the ordinary, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t related to the case. “Okay, I guess we should check it out. I doubt it’s anything, but it’s all we got so far.”

“Maybe you should call Dean. Let him know where we’re going.”

“It’s just a warehouse, it wont take us that long to search. Besides he’s probably still at the morgue.” Nodding, Cas puts the car into gear and manoeuvres out of the parking lot. 

 

The warehouse doors are unlocked and you tentatively push one open. The rusty hinges scrape against the friction as the door opens. You take a step inside but stop when you feel Cas’ hand at your waist. You turn your head up to look at him, but he simply moves past you, positioning himself in front of you. You raise an eyebrow at the unnecessary gesture, but decide against saying anything. He walks further into the warehouse and you follow a few steps behind. It was dusty, dark and unremarkable. As expected. 

Something on the right has caught Castiel’s attention and he moves intently toward it. You’re about to follow him when you become distracted by something else in the distance. You walk straight ahead to get a closer look. Hanging off the edge of one of the crates is a golden Saint Christopher chain. You pick it up and trace a thumb over the metal pendant.

You can feel Cas behind you even before you hear his soft breathing. You think of a quip about personal space but can’t bring yourself to make the remark. For a moment you think it might be because his close proximity doesn’t bother you as much as it should. 

His voice is low when he speaks. “It was here.”

“How do you know?” It’s almost a whisper. 

“I found a heap of clothing behind one of the crates. I believe the items belong to those who went missing.”

“Is it here now?” There’s a chill down your spine. You weren’t prepared for this. You had expected this to be another dead end. “Cas?”

He deliberates for a moment. “No, it’s moved on.” He doesn’t move away from you. If you were to lean back slightly, your back would be against him. You could almost feel his warmth against you. You remember his hand on your waist.

“Are you scared?”

The question surprises you. “No, why would I be scared?”

“Your heart rate has increased.”

You feel your cheeks burn and your mind races to avoid response. “I’m going to call Dean.” You side-step away from Cas and pull out your cell from your pocket. It connects to his voicemail instantly. “He must have switched it off. Maybe we should go back to the motel.”

You both fall into step next to each other as you make your way back through the warehouse. A few dull creaks from the old rafters above echo in the open space around you.

“You know, I have a question for you.” You look up at him, but he keeps his eyes forward.

“A question?”

“What do you do at night? I mean, you don’t sleep. Where do you go?”

He doesn’t miss a beat. “Hooters.”

“Oh.” You look away in embarrassment and carry on walking. When you realise he’s not walking with you, you stop and turn to face him. Confusion drawn on his features. “Oh, that was a joke.” You let out a breathy laugh and try to mask the relief in your voice as a small smile forms on his lips. “I didn’t know angels had a sense of humour.”

Suddenly, the rafter clanks loudly above you and before you can react to the sound, Castiel’s arms are wrapped around you as he pushes you across the ground. The impact of the metal bounces a deafeningly echo against the walls of the building. When Castiel finally leans back away from you, you’re able to see that part of the rafter has fallen from the ceiling. It had landed right where you were stood only seconds before. You suddenly become aware of a sharp pain across your palm. It feels wet, like you had landed in a puddle of water. Sitting up, you lift up your hand to see that it’s not water, but blood. You study the ground around you and see shards of broken glass scattered on the floor. The burning pain becomes more prominent as the warm liquid pulsates from your hand.

You wince at the sight of your injury. “I’m going to need stitches.” 

“Let me,” Cas says, and kneels by the side of you. Gently, he takes your hand in his and covers your palm with the other. A bright light glows between his fingers and it leaves your hand feeling pleasantly numb. When he pulls his hand away you’re left in awe as you see that the deep wound has vanished.

“Wow. I forgot about whole… healing-” you gesture to his hand, not able to form the words. “Thank you.”

He smiles warmly at you and then stands up, reaching out a hand to give you leverage. “We don’t.” 

Regaining your balance, you think you may have misheard him. “We don’t what?”

“Uh, we don’t have a sense of humour. Angels.”

“Oh.” You’re still shaken from the near miss of the falling rafter. You take a step forward but you feel the room begin to spin. You look around and see a wooden crate just behind where you’re stood. You lean back onto it. “I just need a minute.” Without question, Cas walks toward you and takes a seat on the wooden crate next to you.

You feel him watching you cautiously. Although you knew he meant well, the attention made you feel fragile, like at any moment you could break. Trying to appear more nonchalant than alarmed by the close encounter moments ago, you return to the conversation.

“Well, you do. You’re not like the other angels. You’re different.”

“I hope so.”

You look up at him then. “You are. You’re more human than most guys I used to know.” You turn your body towards him. “You’re important to us, you know. You’re important to Dean. I know he’s been acting… off, recently. He’s just trying to figure things out in his head.”

A few minutes pass by with you both lost in your respective thoughts.

“Does Dean have feelings for you?”

You’re completely taken aback by the question. He’s looking at you carefully, appraising your reaction. 

“I don’t know.” It’s the truth.

“Do you have feelings for Dean?” How can you explain the answer to Cas when you hadn’t really figured it out yourself? You’d be lying if you said you didn’t, but you weren’t ready to admit to anyone, not even yourself that you did. “He’s very protective of you.”

“Cas, I shouldn’t have kissed you.” The words are rushed. Spoken without thought. A mixture of relief and guilt burns in your chest. His lips part like he wants to speak but has no words. “I mean that it was just bad timing. It’s not that I didn’t want to kiss you. I do. I mean, I did.” You take a deep breath, considering how to word what you are about to say next. “The truth is, Dean and I have been getting closer and-”

“Closer as in you’re both having sex.” It was more a clarification than a question.

“Uh, yeah.” You awkwardly play with your hands. Stroking the now smooth skin of your palm. “I don’t really know what it is, but it’s happening. I should have said something sooner, I’m sorry.”

He looks away from you for a while, processing what you just told him. His brow relaxes.

“I think I understand. Dean is upset that we kissed yesterday.”

“He doesn’t know.” You reach out and lightly touch his hand, urging him to look at you. “I don’t want things to be awkward between any of us, but especially you and Dean. I’m just a confused mess right now, but I’ll figure it out.”

When Cas finally looks up, his attention is immediately diverted behind you. You follow his gaze to see the outline of a man near the warehouse entrance a few meters away. You blink your eyes and the figure comes into focus. It’s Dean.


	6. I Belong to You

You have no idea how long Dean has been stood there. Instinctively you pull your hand away from Cas. As you try to assess the situation, you wonder if he would have heard any of your conversation.

“Awesome.” He purses his lip and then turns to walk back through the warehouse door. Scrambling to your feet you follow him outside. 

Once you’re only a few feet away from him, you try to hide the tremble in your voice as you speak. “Dean, I’m sorry. I was going to tell you.”

“I’m sure you were, sweetheart.”

“Dean, I think your anger should be directed at me.” Castiel was following close behind you. His voice makes Dean stop in his tracks. Whipping around to look at him.

“Oh, bite me Cas. Don’t act all noble when you’re the one wanting to fuck my girl.”

“Whoa, Dean. It was a kiss! A two second kiss.”

“Yeah, and you told me I had nothing to worry about.”

“You don’t! I’m sorry.”

“Right, everything’s peachy. I’m overreacting. Just gotta make sure you kids aint left alone in a room together.”

“Dean, it didn’t mean anything. It was one kiss!” You gesture with your finger, your words becoming frenetic.

“Yeah one kiss too many.” He glares at Cas, but you answer him regardless. 

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” 

Dean looks around and clenches his jaw. He brings his hand to the back of his neck; rubbing with frustration. “Whatever. I’m out of here.” He waves a dismissive hand in your direction and walks towards the Impala. Sam is nowhere to be seen, so Dean must have come alone. The question of why Dean was at the warehouse in the first place crosses your mind, but it wasn’t the time to ask him.

Cas takes a few steps forward making him stand ahead of you. “Dean, perhaps we should talk about this.” 

Dean immediately turns around again, closing the space between himself and Cas. The proximity of the two puts you on edge.

“Good idea, Cas! Let’s talk. Why her?”

“Dean, I-”

“Why her, of all people?” Against your better judgment you move towards the two of them. Without looking away from Castiel, Dean holds an arm out, signalling for you not to come closer. “Get in the car.”

“What?” For a moment you’re not entirely sure who he’s talking to.

“Get in the car, now,” he snaps at you.

Castiel looks between you and Dean. You felt like a child being scolded. “No.”

He looks at you then. “Fine. Stay here.” He glares once more at Castiel and then strides back towards the Impala.

Once inside, he immediately starts the engine and pulls away from the warehouse yard. When the car is out of sight, you look apologetically at Cas.

“I’ll drive you back to the motel. You need to talk to him.” He starts walking towards the Lincoln.

“Cas, when I said it meant nothing, I didn’t mean-”

“You don’t have to explain yourself.” He stands by the car and opens the passenger door for you. You reluctantly lower yourself into the seat. Your heart is still racing from the confrontation. Once Cas is in the car, you speak again.

“I mean it wasn’t nothing. And that’s the problem.”

Cas sighs. “What is it you want?” He’s patient and soft spoken and it makes it harder to look at him.

“I don’t want to hurt anyone.” Whether it’s from the adrenaline, or the helplessness you feel, you eyes fill with tears. You can’t cry in front of Cas. You turn your attention away from him, staring at a point in the distance. 

“You wont hurt me.” 

“But-”

“You need to talk to Dean. You obviously mean a lot to him.” 

You nod although you’re not entirely convinced. You know you shouldn’t ask the question but you have nothing to lose.

“Do I mean anything to you?” Your eyes dart back to him in an attempt to read his face. He looks away, but not before you catch a glimpse of something unfamiliar in his features. Something foreign. 

“When did you and Dean become intimate?” He’s avoiding the question.

“After you and I were.” 

“So Dean does mean something to you.” He looks at you, his face smoother than before.

“Of course he does.” _But so do you._

“Then I don’t understand your confusion. I’ll take you back to the motel. Back to Dean.”

You were still none the wiser, but right now Dean was the one feeling betrayed, and you needed to fix things with him. You couldn’t bare the thought of him hating you, or worse, you being the reason he cut ties with Cas. 

 

You were parked outside of the motel before you were even aware of your surroundings. You had been trying to rehearse your conversation with Dean in your head, but all you could see was his face. The look he gave you as he was stood in the warehouse. 

“You should go inside.” Cas’ voice cuts through your thoughts. “Dean is unhappy with me right now, so I’ll give him space.”

“I’m so sorry, Cas.” You’ve lost count of the apologies you’ve made today. The word 'sorry' was beginning to sound meaningless, overused. But it was all you had.

He smiles at you. That annoyingly warm and comforting smile that you didn’t deserve right now. Unable to stall any longer, you get out of the car and fumble in your pocket for the motel door key; opting to go through your own room door rather than into Dean’s.

Once you’re inside, you walk to the window and pull the curtains wider to allow more light into the room. The Lincoln is gone. You suddenly realise that you’re unable to see the Impala. You walk over to the room’s joining door and open it without knocking. 

A startled Sam sits up quickly from the bed, his eyes hazy and hair tousled. 

“Oh, I’m sorry Sam. I didn’t mean to wake you.” 

“Uh, no it’s okay. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” He clears his throat and moves the laptop from his lap.

“Any idea where Dean is?” You try to keep your voice light.

“Yeah,” he moves himself to the edge of the bed, lifting the remote to switch off the TV. “We got a lead from someone who works at the mortuary about an old warehouse nearby. They said that twice now they’ve heard howling noises coming from inside so Dean went to check it out.” That explains what he was doing there. You nod absently as Sam continues. “I stayed to talk to one of the officers about another missing person. I don’t know if we’ll ever get to the bottom of this.”

You need to tell him about the missing items you and Cas found, but you’re too worked up to think about the case. Before he can ask you about Mrs. Lieberman, you excuse yourself. “I’m just gonna go shower.” 

“No problem,” you hear him yawn out the words as you go back into your room. 

After closing the door behind you, you start undressing as you make your way to the shower.

You emerge from the bathroom a while later, wrapped in a towel. You walk toward the window and look out into the parking lot, but there is still no sign on the Impala. You know where Dean is. The same place he always goes when he needs to be alone. 

Going through your bag of clothes you pull out a black skater dress. It wasn’t overly fancy, but a lot less casual than an old t-shirt. Once you’re dressed, you put on your black lace up boots, and your fitted leather jacket. 

Reaching for your cell, you punch in a number and hold the phone to your ear.

“Hey, I need a cab from Rixon’s Motel.” You knew you were being hasty. Dean just needed time alone; but you couldn’t sit back a wait for him to return. You needed to speak to him tonight. Away from everyone else. “Uh, I guess to nearest bar from here.”

 

You step out of the cab and eye up the bar in front of you. The exterior looks drab and neglected, and the row of motorcycles hinted at the clientele inside. You glance around at the parked cars on the gravel and sure enough, you see the Impala. There is live music; you could hear the vibrations at your feet from outside the door. 

Opening the single door, you step inside. Your eyes have to adjust to see through the cloud of smoke in the room. It was a typical dive bar. On the far left, a group of men in leather biker jackets stand around a pool table. To the right there is a small stage with a four man band playing heavy metal. A long time ago, a place like this would have appealed to you. Now it makes you uneasy. It’s so loud and crowded you can barely focus. After travelling with the Winchesters you valued the importance of being alert at all times; aware of your surroundings. 

You approach the bar, having to squeeze past bodies as you go. You’re fairly certain someone may have touched your bare leg as you walked past, but you couldn’t be certain it was done on purpose. You’re almost at the bar when someone lightly touches your waist. You turn your head quickly, relieved that Dean had found you, only to be left disappointed to see it was one of the pool-playing bikers. 

“Hey darlin’.” He spoke with a distinct drawl and a slight slur to suggest he had been here for a few hours already. “I noticed you as soon as you walked in. Haven’t seen you around here before.” 

You smile politely, not wanting to engage with him but not wanting to draw attention to yourself either. “I’m here with my boyfriend.” 

“I didn’t see you come in with anyone else.” His mouth twitches into a smile but it doesn’t meet his eyes. He inches closer to you, making you lift you head slightly to look up at him.

“He’s already here.” You feign coolness.

“I’m sure he is.” He moves his hand to your waist again and you can smell the whiskey on his breath. Rolling your eyes, you push his hand away and step back. Someone is stood close behind you, causing you to step back onto their toes. You turn around to see the person stood behind you is Dean. He lowers his eyes from the man down to you.

“What are you doing here?” His voice was gruff but controlled.

“I came to find you.” He shuts his eyes and lets out a sigh.

“Sounds like your boyfriend aint too happy to see you.” The biker chuckles teasingly, and you turn back around to face him. You’re torn between arguing that Dean isn’t your boyfriend or protesting his disappointment at you being here. Before you can say anything, Dean steps around you so that he’s closer to the biker.

“What I aint too happy about are where those hands of yours insist on going.” The biker takes a step closer to Dean, sizing him up. He looks from Dean to you, then clearly deciding it’s not worth the fight, he walks away without a word, rejoining the pool game.

Without a word, Dean turns and walks past you. Heading back to a small table next to the wall. You follow him and take a seat opposite. There’s an empty beer bottle on the table and another that is barely half full. He takes hold of it and brings it close to his mouth.

“I think we need to talk.”

Taking a long swig from the bottle, he shakes his head. “No talking tonight, just drinking.”

This wasn’t something you could just let go of, but you were relieved he wasn’t asking you to leave. You watch Dean as he absently scratches at the bottle’s label. 

After a few minutes he waves over to the bar, signalling for two more beers. You look around the room and realise that a few people are looking in your direction. Two girls at the bar smile coyly, leaning into each other as they whisper. It’s never a surprise when Dean gets this kind of attention. He had the sort of magnetism men wanted and the sex appeal woman craved; sometimes the other way around. 

A few months ago Dean would have made a beeline to those girls, then dazzled them with a fake name and some bullshit story. Since you started sleeping together, you noticed he paid less attention to other women. Not that you ever thought it was necessarily out of loyalty to you.

As if on cue from your thoughts, a very pretty blonde girl brings over the two drinks on a tray. She wears an unbuttoned knotted shirt and a black leather skirt. Placing the drinks on the table, she flashes an overly friendly smile at Dean. Holding back the urge to roll your eyes, you look to Dean for his reaction. 

He smiles back at her though his eyes hover around her cleavage more than anywhere else. Taking note of his reaction, the waitress places her hands on the table, leaning over to give Dean a better view. 

“Let me know if there’s anything else I can get you, hon.” You can’t see her face, but you’re confident her eyes are beaming with the same hidden meaning her sultry voice suggests.

Dean looks up at her then, the boyish smile still broad on his face. “Oh I will, believe me.”

You look away in embarrassment; torn between wanting to appear indifferent to Dean’s flirtation and storming out of the bar. You decide the former will be most effective, since you’re fairly confident he’s doing it for a reaction.

As the waitress leaves the table, you don’t miss the long and tactless stare of appreciation Dean gives her as she walks away. Wordlessly you pick up the beer and start drinking. The girls at the bar suddenly straighten up, collecting themselves in suave fashion. You don’t need to look at Dean to know he gave them the attention they were so desperately craving. 

You’re not usually one to play dirty, but you wish the biker who stopped you before would send a drink over or ask you to dance. Just to prove something to Dean. Instead, you gave Dean a coy half-smile and spoke with feigned sympathy.

“I guess that fact that I kissed Cas yesterday is really bothering you.” 

Snapping his attention back to you, he says “You can kiss who you want. You can fuck who you want. Don’t assume that what’s going on between us is anything other than sex.”

A sickening feeling rises in your stomach. You look away from Dean to save face. That backfired and then some. After letting go of the breath you were holding, you look squarely at him.

“That’s not what you said last night.”

“That’s when I thought we were fucking exclusively. Apparently that’s not the case.”

“I didn’t sleep with him, you know that.”

“Are you telling me you hadn’t thought about it? You already have once. You already kissed him- kissed him after we had sex!” His eyes are filled with emotions you can’t place. “I’ve seen it. I’ve seen the looks between the two of you. I can’t keep looking over my shoulder, so…” He drinks from the bottle again, then shakes his head. “So do what you want.”

His honesty and insecurity consumes you with guilt. Rather than just apologising, you lay your own fears on the table. “I’m just tired of being someone’s conquest.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You only wanted me after you found out about Cas. Don’t get me wrong, I’m impressed by how long you’ve lasted before you got bored and moved onto someone else. Sometimes it even felt real. But don’t pretend this is something other than a competition between you and him.”

He stares at you, seemingly in disbelief. “You think that’s what this was?” 

You nod, “I’m starting to realise that now.”

He plants his drink down on the table, probably more forcefully than he intended. “Alright, let’s go with that. Since this is a competition, who’s going to win?”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“Do you love him?” 

“Honestly?” You don’t miss the wavering look in his eye, but he quickly masks it with a cool nod. “When I’m with him I feel differently to how I feel when I’m with you.”

“Different how?” 

You’re finally having the conversation you wanted. This was your chance to be open about your feelings. Only it doesn’t feel as liberating as you thought it would. The uneasy feeling is returning to your stomach and you’re overwhelmed with the magnitude of your words.

“I can’t do this.” You get up from the table and walk through the crowd to reach the door. You can hear Dean’s chair pull out and you know he’s following you. Once you’re outside, you turn right and walk around the side of the building. Dean is right behind you and reaches out for your shoulder. You shake him off half heartedly and run your hands through your hair. You stand still for a moment, welcoming the crisp air into your lungs. 

“I’m sorry.” His voice is tired but genuine. 

“It was stupid of me to just let this play out. Like that ever works. Like this wasn’t ever going to complicate everything.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I can’t do this anymore. We should just go back to the way it was.”

“Why, so you can be with Cas?” Dean’s eyes widen; a mixture of disbelief and concern.

“No, but you said so yourself that this was nothing but sex. I hate to be _that girl_ , but I need more than that.” Closing his eyes, Dean squeezes the bridge of his nose. “I know I’m not necessarily going to find that on the road, but- I don’t know. Meaningless sex is one thing, but meaningless sex with you…” You shake your head, unable to finish the sentence.

Dean purses his lips and shakes his head. Looking away from you, he mutters something that you can’t quite hear.

“What?”

He sighs and then looks back at you, defeated. “I said I love you.”

The seconds feel like minutes. You’re unable to do anything other than stand there and gape at him.

“I know I never said it before. I’m just not that guy. I know I’m out of touch with the whole relationship thing, but how could you not see that I’m crazy about you?”

“It was never like that before.” You had been running with the Winchesters for years. You never had any suspicion that he saw you that way. 

He begins to walk closer to you. “I guess I just took it for granted that someone else might beat me to it. I never in a million years thought it would be Cas. That’s why I kissed you that night. I was jealous that he had the balls to do something I couldn’t. I didn’t want to lose you.”

He’s stood in front of you, but you’re unable to move. Too taken aback by his words. 

“Listen, I’m sorry about… the diner, earlier today, the way I acted in the bar,” he gestures to the side of the building. “You know me, I’m an idiot.” He lets out a breathy laugh, but it fails to lift the mood. His features pull together in thought. “I’ve loved you for a long time, I was just too stupid to do anything about it.”

He pulls on your jacket so that you’re pressed against his body. Wrapping his arms around you, he lowers his face so that he’s nuzzling the top of your head. “I love you,” he whispers.

 

On the way back to the motel, you consider the past few weeks and it all falls into place. Dean was never angry with you, or Cas. He was angry with himself. He was stubborn and jealous and all too conflicted. Now that Dean had finally been honest with you, you wanted to be honest with him. Cas had told you that you wouldn’t hurt him, but that did little to comfort you. You weren’t sure where it would leave you and Cas, or he and Dean. 

Dean parks the Impala at the farthest end of the parking lot and takes off his seat belt.

“I love you too.”

He looks up at you warmly. “It seriously took you the half hour drive from the bar before you could say that?”

You smile, “I thought I would build the suspense.”

“Well, that you did.” He leans over and kisses you. It’s slow and deliberate. You graze your fingertips across the stubble of his jaw, and he lowers his hand to your leg; sighing when he is met with your soft bare skin. He breaks the kiss to look down at your body and you move your mouth to the length of his jaw; replacing your fingertips. He hitches the dress up even further and lightly trails his hand along the side of your thigh until he reaches your lace underwear. Before long, he is breathing heavily against your ear and the warmth radiates through you. “I need to fuck you.” He lowers his mouth to your neck and gently sucks on the skin. “Right now.”

“That might take PDA to a whole new level.” You hope Sam’s asleep. Although even if he was, there would be no promising he would be undisturbed. You could imagine intoxicated Dean being a lot less controlled than usual. “Let’s go inside,” you urge as you take off your seat belt. There’s an ache between your legs and your mind races in excitement, thinking of all the things Dean could do to relieve it.

Dean hooks onto your leg and pulls you onto him. As you settle into his lap, you can feel the bulge in his pants below you and you respond by kissing him roughly. His hands travel from your tights, up your side and over your chest. 

Realising his intent, you reach down and begin unbuttoning his pants. He watches your movements and he lifts his hips as he pulls the jeans down slightly, allowing you to free his erection. You kiss him again, his tongue immediately battling with yours. You can feel his hand pumping his length in between your bodies. 

You lift your dress and move the fabric of your underwear to the side as you lower yourself onto him. 

You now understand the reason why Dean parked so far from the motel as you straddle him in the drivers seat. You begin to rock your hips as his hands hold onto fistfuls of your dress.

A wave of excitement flows through you as you become more aware of your surroundings. You are confined, something is digging into your right leg and you aren’t completely sure where to put your hands. But your body is fully pressed against Dean and he’s inside of you and fuck, you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

He comes before you do. Wrapping his arms around your body and convulsing against you. His breathy moans are muffled against your shoulder as he jerks his hips.

You snake your hand between your bodies and begin circling a finger over your clit. He sits back against the seat, a light sheen of sweat visible across his brow. Looking down, he gently nudges your hand out of the way and replaces it with his own. 

His eyes are heavy but determined. You hold his face gently in your hands as you kiss him. His lips are warm and swollen and you revel in the taste of him. You rock your hips involuntarily when your orgasm take over, but you don’t break contact with your lips. As you come down from the high, you collapse against him. 

Condensation creates a silver mist across the windows as Dean holds you tightly against him. This feels different to how it felt before. There was no more uncertainty, just a feeling of being complete. Your heart is swollen with affection for him. He’s too much and not enough, simultaneously. 

Dean lightly traces his fingertips along your back and you shiver against his touch. Pulling back to look at him, his green eyes bore into yours. He reaches out and moves a stray hair away from your face. Light rain, barely audible against the windscreen of the car, begins to fall.

“Shall we go inside?” 

Dean shakes his head, “no, let’s wait for the rain to stop.”

You look out of the drivers side window, “I wouldn’t call this rain, if we-” He rests his hand against your cheek and strokes his thumb across your lip. You shift your focus back to him.

“Just a little longer.” 

You smile against his touch and lower yourself to kiss him once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Feb 2016]  
> I just want to quickly say that since I’ve had such a long and unintentional break from writing that I’m hoping I’ll get back into the swing of things again soon! In the mean time to help me along, if anyone has any requests for one shots (doesn’t necessarily have to be SPN) just let me know in the comments! <3  
> Thanks for the kudos & comments- They're much appreciated!


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